As a guy on a dating site, how would you feel about receiving a message from a girl in a burka, out of the blue, about going on a date? Pay attention to your gut reaction about Claire, the girl above. It’s probably telling you:
- She can’t be that attractive
- You’ll probably waste your time if you meet her
- Her message is off-putting
- She doesn’t understand how dating works
Now remember what your gut reaction feels like, because it’s exactly how every girl feels when she gets a message from a typical guy.
A guy can’t hope to communicate more than a small glimpse of his personality on a dating site profile. In that sense, a dating site is a “personality burka”.
Let’s keep exploring your gut reaction to Claire. You’re skeptical. But take a moment to ask yourself: what would make you less skeptical and more attracted to Claire?
That’s right: a pic. Ideally, a pic that reveals a lot of information about what’s under Claire’s burka: what this scale calls a “good pic”:
Now consider this key fact about attraction:
- A girl’s looks are 80% of her attractiveness to you.
- Your looks are only 30% of your attractiveness to a girl.
A girl on a dating site is nothing like Claire: her body will be pretty exposed, and guys will be attracted to her. But a guy on a dating site is exactly like Claire: his personality will be covered in a burka, and girls will be skeptical about him.
So when you see a girl’s pic, you feel attraction. But when a girl sees your pic, she feels… skeptical. She doesn’t have enough information to feel attracted to you yet. It’s the same reason you don’t feel attracted to Claire yet.
As a guy, your most attractive quality is personality. That’s why this blog is all about how to have an attractive personality in your texts. But before you can master text game, you have to understand why it’s even necessary – why girls you meet online aren’t ready to “skip the games” and have coffee with you right away.
You’d like to take off your personality-burka, so that girls can feel attraction to you. But all you can do on a dating site is send text messages. How can text messages create attraction?
To understand how, ask yourself: What text message can Claire send you to make you think that she has an attractive body under her burka?
Here are some good answers:
- “I run every morning”
- “I’m so sore from the gym”
- “I’m a model”
Since attractive girls are more likely to be runners, more likely to go to the gym, and more likely to be models, each of the texts above would provide you a nonzero quantity of evidence that Claire is attractive.
Of course, it’s not that simple: Claire might be lying. E.g. while it’s undoubtedly true that attractive girls are more likely to run every morning, it’s possible that unattractive girls are just as likely – or even more likely – to claim they run every morning. Your gut should be able to confirm: it’s a real challenge for Claire to optimize her texts to provide you with the maximum amount of evidence that she’s attractive.
A girl in a burka needs text game to attract you. You, in your personality-burka, need text game to attract a girl. And that’s why text game is necessary.